Everyone does it, and if they say they don't they're lying. It's a sacred thing. - Britney Spears

Monday, 31 January 2011

Female Masturbation - A Musical History

Britney Spears summed up what we all felt (yeah, hard to believe, isn't it?) when she boldly proclaimed to the world that everyone does it and anyone who says they don't is a liar. Who can argue with the girl who was probably single-handedly responsible for most of the teenage-jackin' off that has took place in the western world during the noughties?

With nothing better to do it seems timely to cast a brief look back over how female masturbation has featured in popular culture over the years. And where better to start than with Britney herself. In Touch of My Hand, the track from her 2003 album In the Zone sees Britney she opens her heart in a way that few of us would ever have expected:
I love myself/It's not a sin/I can't control what's happenin'/I just discovered/Imagination’s taking over/Another day without a lover/The more I come to understand/The touch of my hand
As Kylie might say 'I should be so lucky'. Don't believe it? Check this out then watch the video.

But Britney was by no means the first pop diva to break the taboo. She Bop was the third commercially released solo single by Cyndi Lauper from the album She's So Unusual. It's also the one that earned notoriety because of the suggestive lyrical content. It has been suggested that the lyrics were dressed up to make pre-adolescents think the song was about dancing but come to understand the real meaning as they got older. (Admittedly our source for this is Wikipedia!). Whatever the motivation, the song earned Cyndi Lauper a citation in a 'filthy fifty' list that also included Madonna and Prince - so she's in good company!

We are prevented from showing you the official video here - you'll just have to watch it YouTube. However we can show you this 1987 live recording from Paris. You'll get the message even if the sound isn't so audible.

But for sheer audacity who can beat Divinyls? The Australian rock band didn't just sing about it, they shouted it out loud. I Touch Myself was their 1991 single that caused a sensation. No need for clever allegory or literary allusions here. This can only be about one thing. And it's such a catchy song too. Only the most embittered cynic could not but resist the impulse to sing along.

Well that's all we have to show you for today. There are lots of other songs about female masturbation and if you're interested in the subject there are probably lots of books in your local library - but more likely lot and you're going to feel pretty red-faced asking the librarian for assistance in your quest. 

So to avoid potential embarrassment we recommend the following links (the subject of male masturbation is also covered): 

Copyright © Masturbation Matters, 2011

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Masturbation - The Last Taboo

What can you say about masturbation that hasn't already been said? Quite a lot actually, because despite the fact that probably ninety-eight percent of the world's population do it, (the other 2% having lost the use of their hands) for many it remains the self-love that dare not speak it's name; especially in the company of the polite or squeamish. We were even a little embarrassed to be blogging about it to be honest. But then, as the saying goes, 'if we don't, who will?'

Only about 10% of the world is gay yet we see those lovely folk everywhere we go - out, loud and proud so ya better get used to it! When is the last time you witnessed a Masturbation Pride event? This blog is dedicated to rectifying the imbalance, in the manner in which the media and other forms of human entertainment have neglected the holy subject of masturbation.

Watch out world. We're here to take you by storm. We're about to let everyone in on a dirtly little secret that everyone shares in - except for the most hardened neo-cons and ultra bigots who of course don't engage in that sort of thing.

Copyright © Masturbation Matters, 2011

Masturbation vs Sex. Which of the following statements do you agree with?